A Revelation From The Administration

listen... I shouldn't be telling you punks any of this. maybe it'll wipe those smirks off your faces... pretty sad that this will probably be my last moment of real enjoyment, rubbing your faces in it. you're not gonna believe this right now, but in a few days you're going to believe it, and nothing else is going to seem very important. we... uhh... well we've been in contact with another civilization, from somewhere else. and i mean, really, somewhere else. we don't have a clue where but it ain't here, and they don't seem very interested in telling us. but they can talk to us. they can speak to us in English, and probably any language for that matter. and here's the kicker: they're coming soon, and they're gonna wipe us out. it's like a bad fuckin' video game, except we don't have any space marines or death stars. so everything you've been doing to mess with us, undermine us, destabilize the system, start a revolution, whatever it is that you think you're doing, it's a waste of time. they're going to destroy the earth right out from under us. all we were trying to do was beat 'em to it...