Most people don't know this, but stuff that sucks sucks because of sucky people. That's the root cause, but in order to make this article longer, let's look at the distinct ways in which sucky people bring suckiness to the world:
1) Sucky people don't know what sucks, so they choose stuff that sucks when they buy stuff or get married, and therefore make stuff that sucks seem popular. Businesses then cater to the perceived need for suckitude and produce more stuff that sucks. This is known as "The Circle Of Suckiness" (not to be confused with the the Circle of Suck, which is a social phenomenon that occurs in primarily in musical instrument retail outlets, generally in the drum section).
2) Sucky people take stuff that's good and make it suck. The examples in the entertainment industry are too obvious (the decline of cartoons, movie {pre/se}quels and how they suck, the ultra-suck news on TV) so here's one that maybe you hadn't thought of: toy trucks and stuff used to be made out of metal. Now they are made out of plastic, and they have to make all the parts thicker in order for it not to fall apart, so they look and feel lame. You can barely even knock a sibling unconscious with a Tonka truck nowadays. The people responsible for this change suck.
3) Sucky people have babies that suck.
4) Sucky babies are a pain in the ass.
5) If everything around you sucks, then something that sucks has the appearance of not sucking simply by virtue of sucking less than the sucky items immediately surrounding it. Then you think "hey, that doesn't suck... let's make some more sequels and be sure to get Mr T. to do a cameo. That guy is a laugh riot!". Then you remember that Mr. T is dead. Poor Mrs. T...
Well that about wraps it up. In closing: try not to suck.
